It's been a hard week. The Teen may be going to live with his father this summer and my heart feels like it's breaking. I love this boy so much.
I always knew the day would come when I would have to say goodbye, but I really never expected it to be so soon. While I'm becoming more confident that it's the right thing to do, it's still so hard.
How do I say goodbye after 15 years of loving him, caring for him, and praying for him? Right now he is down in his room playing video games with his friends via Xbox Live. I'm trying to remember every laugh and the sound of his changing voice. Will I remember it when the house is quiet?
What will it be like when the school bus goes by and it's not followed by his feet running up the driveway, his backpack being dropped right inside the door, and a shout... "Hey mom, can I have a fajita?"
Will I cry? Will I get used to it? Will I remember how precious these little things were?
For now I keep reminding myself:
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. - Psalm 28:7
God's hand is on this. He knows my thoughts from afar. He hears my prayers. He is my strength and my salvation.
Oh my heart hurts for you reading this post. I will pray for extra grace and for some very special days to come with your son. My bot is only 20 months, but even now, the thought of him leaving home is so painful. The boys really know how to entwine themselves into a Mommy's heart, don't they?
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to remind you that Momentous Monday starts on my blog tomorrow.
I'm hurting for you. I often think about my oldest (whose biological dad and I are divorced) and wonder what will happen if the day comes when he wants to go live with him. That's over 10 hours from me. I would be heartbroken. I will pray for you and him. Strength for you, and wisdom for him. Hugs...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say. My heart is hurting for you. This is a huge, life-changing decision and God will definitely lead you down the right path (even if it makes you cry). I'm thinking hugs your way and praying for the right decision to be made!
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