It's been a hard week. The Teen may be going to live with his father this summer and my heart feels like it's breaking. I love this boy so much.
I always knew the day would come when I would have to say goodbye, but I really never expected it to be so soon. While I'm becoming more confident that it's the right thing to do, it's still so hard.
How do I say goodbye after 15 years of loving him, caring for him, and praying for him? Right now he is down in his room playing video games with his friends via Xbox Live. I'm trying to remember every laugh and the sound of his changing voice. Will I remember it when the house is quiet?
What will it be like when the school bus goes by and it's not followed by his feet running up the driveway, his backpack being dropped right inside the door, and a shout... "Hey mom, can I have a fajita?"
Will I cry? Will I get used to it? Will I remember how precious these little things were?
For now I keep reminding myself:
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. - Psalm 28:7
God's hand is on this. He knows my thoughts from afar. He hears my prayers. He is my strength and my salvation.